A lady named Krithiga Balsubramanian wrote about an awful experience she had undergone in the Hindu dated 29.08.10 (Open Page). She was in a hurry to reach home as it was around 8.00 PM and a guy passed vulgar comments on her dress. She was wearing a decent attire by any standards - a salwar kameez complete with a dupatta - and naturally felt offended. She wanted to take the him to task but was too tired after a hard days work. She then narrates another incident when a girl was playing in sea-water by the beach in a three-fourth and Krithiga’s friend was staring. He was blaming the girl for the dressing style “rather than accepting the fact that it was wrong to look at a woman that way.”
Should we always drape ourselves in a saree to gain respect? Can’t women have their space in society? She asks.
The response she got for her write-up was equally stimulating. A reader says she has heard vulgar comments on women wearing saree too. Youngsters making passes at women old enough to be their mothers. “Why are dress-codes, decency standards, culture etc. applicable to women alone? I haven’t seen a single woman passing remarks on a man - no matter how he is dressed.” “Have we ever heard anyone saying men should be dressed decently? Why do men, who get “provoked” by clothes, hardly get “provoked” by domestic violence, female foeticide or honour killings?”
Valid questions, indeed.
Instead of seeking direct answers, I shall narrate two stories from the Kerala folklore Vadakkan Pattukal. One gets an idea how the women of yore handled such cases. More importantly, how they partnered a near-perfect relationship with their spouses. In other words, what’s this yin-yang relationship all about. The folklore starts with the tales of Aromal Chekavar and Unniyarcha of Puthooram Veedu. The brother and sister duo come from a family of mercenaries, Chekavars who make a living by sword-fights, always staking their lives for anybody who pays. In those days, boys and girls both get their training in martial arts in special-purpose schools called kalaris under the tutelage of a senior Chekavar. Aromal and Unniyarcha came out in flying colors from the kalari and while the brother went on to become a full-fledged chekavar, the sister became a house-wife. Oddly enough, she was married to a weak, less-than-ordinary man named Kunjiraman who never harbored an opinion of his own. Unniyarcha got bored at her husband’s Aattumanammel Veedu doing the cleaning-cooking-washing continuum and wanted to go for the festival at Allimalar kave. She sought permission from the lord of the house first, as is customary but Kunjiraman’s father refused it on the ground that if his son accompanies Unniyarcha it is equivalent to loosing one days income. She gets humiliated and retorts that she has made up her mind to go….. come what may, hell or high water. The karanavar changes his strategy and plays the safety card. He says Allimalarkave and its vicinity are ruled by an underworld mafia called Jonakas and their Don, the Moopan has got a weakness for beautiful women. If any good-looking lady is seen moving around unescorted by men, the side-kicks of the Don are sure to pound on her, to take away the jewellery and to get her undressed . She will subsequently follow a straight line path to the Moopan’s bed. Unniyarcha is still unmoved and reiterates her stand to make it with or without permission. Finally for complying protocol, she asks Kunjiraman and as expected he denies permission. He also threatens his wife of dire consequences and hints beating her up. Unniyarcha gives a damn. She sets out taking her urumi (sword). By the time she reaches Nagapurathangadi, the Jonakas encircle her and the determined lady is all set to have a go. She is combat-ready in a moments notice. The Jonakas never expected such a repulse and they are quite unnerved by her courage. They rush to their Master while Unniyarcha is raging to settle the issue once and for all. Meanwhile Kunjiraman arrives at the scene in search of his wife and promptly falls unconscious. The Moopan is apprised of the situation and he understands its graveness. The attack is two-pronged and imminent. He sends his wife with sackful of gold-coins to Unniyarcha as a conciliatory measure. She cares a hoot. Nagappan Chetty, the foreigner who acts as a financier to the powerful is urged to mediate. The mission nose-dives. As a last resort, the Moopan approaches the Naduvazhi (local ruler) and he sends his wife to Unniyarcha with a cartload of presents. No change in fate. Finally Aromal makes an appearance and he summons the Moopan who not only falls at Unniyarcha’s feet but vows never to hurt a woman again. The chapter thus ends happily with the womenfolk in and around Allimalar Kave throwing their fears and anxieties to the winds.
The very next chapter is unique in the sense that it explains the yin-yang concept. As we all know, the yin-yang represent the ideal male-female relationship as detailed in the oriental philosophy. The yin and yang are complementary to each other and inclusive in nature. Actually they are inseparable. There are parts of yin in yang and vice versa. (anima and animus). The function of yin is to fortify the element of compassion and kindness in yang. And that of yang is to strengthen the factor of courage and leadership in yin. In essence, the yin purifies the yang and vice versa.
( Asha Menon has written a beautiful piece Savithri on the purification carried out by yin in his book Herbarium but he excludes the part played by yang).
Chapter 2 of Vadakkan Pattu opens with Aromal brooding over his skill-set which is otherwise complete with 18 portfolios with the unusual exception of pakida (game of dice). His own uncle is an expert in the game and Aromal, after consulting his parents decides to meet his uncle who stays several hours away. He takes a long time dressing up which makes his wife, Kunjunnooli restless. She senses something fishy. The uncle has got a beautiful daughter, Thumbolarcha, at her prime and unmarried, on whom Aromal has a crush. In no time, he sets out for Mikavil Mikacherry Veedu after brushing aside Kunjunnooli’s light hearted but pointed comment about his dress. Aromal reaches his uncle’s place late in the evening. His uncle accepts him and starts imparting the gaming techniques. After a heavy dinner Aromal sleeps off only to be waken up by an unknown hand after midnight. He casually glances at the night-sky and is surprised to see an extremely rare formation of planets which is ideally suited for making love. The resultant off-spring is sure to have the world at this feet. Aromal wants to make the best use of the celestial event, though his wife is far away. There is a time constraint as well, the duration of the event is limited. He chooses the only other option and knocks at Thumbolarcha’s door. He tells her frankly that even though he is married to Kunjunnooli and loves her, he adores Thumbolarcha too. Real love is not to be mistaken as attachment to a single person. It cannot be.
Aromal promises to stand by her.
They “possessed the Universe together”. Aromal had to rush back as the early morning pooja at the kalari is never to be stopped and by the time he reaches Puthooram Veedu, he is welcomed by none other than his wife. Kunjunnooli had guessed everything right and what’s more, she gently admonishes Aromal for not taking Thumbolarcha along. How can you jump into conclusions (that I would be against)? She asks.
Meanwhile, Thumbolarcha gets pregnant and is being treated as an outcast. She is housed in the firewood store with no comforts , not even the mandatory ones she is entitled as an expectant mother. She gives birth to a baby boy but Aromal is still elusive. The boy has to be named on the 28th day in presence of blood relations and Thumbolarcha sends an SOS through a special messenger. Aromal arrives with his parents and sister with cartloads of gifts in tow. The naming ceremony is over. Aromal and his entourage return to Puthooram Veedu. There at the Padippura (main gate), Kunjunnooli waits to welcome the honored guests. Seeing none, she seeks Aromal’s permission and makes a bee-line to Mikavil Mikacherry veedu with headloads of gold ornaments for Kannanunni. Seeing her rushing in, Thumbolarcha goes into hiding. The great lady holds her hand along with that of the infant and takes them to their rightful place.
Then she asks this question to her beloved husband.
“Why did you behave like a eunuch?”
He gets purified on the spot. All his negativities are washed away. Aromal’s response is soft but firm.
I’m proud of you, baby.
*******
 |
| "Are you real?" digital painting by ISE |